Some Thoughts

5.24.10

On peeing with the door open:

Why is it so wonderful? I ask myself, do men pee in front of each other the way women do? Do high school friends and fathers and sons stop their conversations when they need to use the restroom or do they le their words flow as freely as their bodily fluids?
I really do feel that there is a bond or expression of sisterhood among women who pee with the door open. Yes. Peeing with the door open = sisterhood. Thoughts?

On how curiosity killed the cat:

Scenario 1: You are on vacation with your family and a scorpion strings your poor cousin. Four times. And instead of smashing the vile thing to smithereens as is rightfully allowed by The Rules of The Universe (if it stings you, you can kill it ), you and your family capture it, Google information about it, study it, photograph it, talk about it, and then gently let it go.

Scenario 2: You find a scorpion in your house and instead of smashing the vile thing to smithereens as is rightfully allowed by The Rules of The Universe (if it comes into your house, you can kill it) you trap it in an empty yogurt container and keep it on your kitchen counter over the next few days. You slowly add to your collection so that when your mother comes to visit you have three scorpions to how her. The night your mother arrives, instead of going straight to bed because she’s been traveling all day and you have to work the next morning, you take the lid off the yogurt container, turn out the lights and play with the black light your mother brought. Instead of being totally disgusted, you are mildly fascinated by the fact that scorpions fluoresce neon green. Enough so that you save the scorpions for two more day in order to show your friends when they come over for dinner on Wednesday. Enough so that you’re a little bit glad when after dinner you friend finds a 4th scorpion to add to the collection, this one at least three times bigger than any of the others. Enough so that you keep all four scorpions in the yogurt container in the kitchen for an additional three days in order to show different friends when they come over for dinner on Saturday.

On being cold:
Tonight I am cold in my little mountain cabin. So cold it feels like my rings are going to fall off. And I’m happy because scorpions like the heat.