Sunday August 14, 2011
I killed another scorpion last night. It’s not even that exciting anymore, but this particular death was kind of interesting. I was sitting on the toilet, peeing when it happened. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and there it was, prancing into my bathroom with no regard for my privacy. I didn’t even freak out. I just pulled up my pant leg so it wouldn’t get tangled in arachnid, stomped on the perverted critter and continued peeing.
Unfortunately, this did not get the job done. Even on the hard tile of my bathroom floor the arachnid exoskeleton held up against the soft bottom of my slippers. Still seated on the toilet, I stomped again. The second attempt did not manage to capture the tail scorpion and I sat watching as it jabbed at the sole of my slipper in an attempt to free itself.
In the end I had to stand, pull my pants up and grind my heel to immobilize the scorpion, and sweep it up and dump it into the toilet to finish off the job. And now I get to add “The Time I Killed a Scorpion While I was on the Toilet” to the list of things I’ve done in my life.
And while we are on the topic of scorpions, I would like to share that Costa Rica has debuted two new bills. They are smaller, made of a different material and with new designs. The 1,000 colon bill, I am sad to report, has scorpions on it. Why would they choose to do such a thing? It’s like if the currency for New York had a mugger on it, or a junkie, passed out on a stoop. I know what you are thinking: New York doesn’t have it’s own currency.
What’s your point?
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